Swan Song
by randomly
Summary: Kakashi and Naruto once were, but now memories are all Kakashi has left, and they are breaking him down quickly. You've never seen him this angsty. KakaNaru, Angst and slash.


**Random Rambling: KakaNaruto for you. Angst/Slash, and an ending I'm not quite sure of.  
Tell me what you think of the ending and suggest changes to it PLEASE!**

**R&R is muchly appreciated ^^  
**

**~xXx~**

**Swan Song**

**~xXx~**

Kakashi was standing by the memorial stone, alone. The rain fell steadily from dark skies as the jounin's fingers traced the name of the only one he had been able to love after the tragedies of his younger years. The one whom he had loved more than anything or anyone – his koi, who had died for him.

_Kakashi and Naruto had been on an A rank mission together, the mission: find and kill Uchiha Itachi. They'd been searching for him for three weeks before they managed to find a lead on the S-class missing nin, but they finally had. _

_The two had been chasing from place to place for the last two weeks, always arriving just a little too late to find Itachi, but now they knew where he'd be in exactly one week. They would arrive in a small town in rice country tomorrow, where they'd await the Uchiha, but for now they stopped at a small clearing in the woods. _

_The two males had eaten a short while before, but as midnight drew closer the younger of the two became tired and went to bed, falling asleep straight away. Some hours later Kakashi had entered their tent, getting ready for bed. He was about to fall asleep when he heard Naruto mumble something in his sleep." Intrigued, the copy nin stayed awake, listening to the boy – what he heard troubled him. _

"_P-Please, no… I-I'm n-not a monster, it w-w-wasn't my fault... Don't hurt me, please…" The boy was tossing and turning violently in his sleep. "No, anything but that, please… NO!" By now tears were streaming down the boy's cheeks, a terrified look upon his face. "N-No… Please don't...!" Kakashi couldn't stand it, he had to do something to soothe the boy. Springing to the boy's side, the copy nin sat down and put the boys head in his lap, stroking his silky hair in silence. _

_Suddenly Naruto stilled, no more tears running from his eyes, his expression turning from one of fear to sadness. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen, not like that; I wanted it to be with you. Why won't you notice me? I..." A long pause, Kakashi remaining entirely still, wanting to hear what the young boy was about to say. "Love you... Kakashi." The jounin stopped breathing for a moment and it seemed all his bodily functions would stop when he heard his name leave the blondes lips. _

_The moment Kakashi's body let him move again he leant forwards touching the boys check. "I love you too, Naruto, more than you'll ever know" The truth in his voice, which was barely above a whisper, was so clearly evident. Hatake Kakashi, famous copy-nin, skilled shinobi, pervert and whatever else he may be had a secret he had never told anyone – he hadn't even really admitted it to himself - he loved the blonde laying in front of him. The silver haired male took a moment to just look at the blonde, absorbing all of his beautiful features to his memory forever, before he lowered himself just a little more, his lips brushing against the soft skin of the blonde's cheek._

_Just as thunder from clear blue skies Naruto's eyes opened wide, staring straight at Kakashi and taking in every detail – this was the first time he'd ever seen the man's face, and he had no idea why he hid it behind that mask, he was beautiful. The closest thing to perfection Naruto has ever seen. Kakashi, immediately stunned by the situation, now moved back, his eyes shying away from Naruto's. _

_Suddenly the boy panicked, eyes filled with fear and pain looked at Kakashi. The blond curled himself into a fetal position and started to shake, all the while muttering words so low they were almost inaudible, but Kakashi heard them all too well. _

"_Don't hurt me... D-Don't hurt me. P-P-Please, d-don't hurt me." It was as the boy was set to repeat, he was shaking violently and saying the same things over and over._

_The blonde's former sensei had no idea what to do. He pulled back from the younger man, taking his hand and squeezing it hard. _

"_Naruto. NARUTO! It's me, Kakashi… __I won't hurt you, I swear" Kakashi, the great shinobi he may be, had never been good at dealing with emotional situations. The silver haired male looked at the blonde, hoping his fit would stop. The blonde looked at him, his eyes tear-filled, but no longer panic-stricken. _

"_I'm sorry, Kakashi..."_

"_Sorry... For what?" Naruto looked up, his blue eyes making their way deep into his sensei's soul. _

"_For troubling you, I'm sorry for freaking out like that..." The older shrugged it off and brought his hand up to Naruto's cheek, forcing the younger boy to face him._

"_Never mind that, but tell me, Naruto, what happened to you?" Kakashi was, for once, not sure what to say, so he decided to try something he rarely did, say what was really on his mind. "You're barely a shell of what you used to be, and... Well... What was that just now with you panicking on me – have I done something to harm you in any way?" Hurt was evident in his eyes as Kakashi said the last sentence. _

"_Are you sure you want to know?" The jounin nodded and touched Naruto's hand lightly._

"_Yes, why wouldn't I?" _

"_I don't know if you'll be able to handle it..." The blonde looked back down, fixating his stare at an imaginary spot on the floor of their tent floor. _

"_Look at me," Kakashi said, "I want to know everything, no matter how hard it will be to hear it. Now tell me, or I'll have to force you – and mind you, I used to be an elite ANBU." _

"_Well then, if you're sure you want to know…" Naruto looked up at the silver haired male sitting in front of him, the tear tracks down his cheeks had now dried. _

"_The villagers, ever since I was little, they... they beat me, but I guess you know that from before, right." Kakashi merely nodded to acknowledge what Naruto had said. Everyone had known. "But then, right after we graduated the academy... S-Some of them, they – they decided that they'd take it a step further. Sakura's dad was really mad that she was teamed with me, and he... he came to my apartment, I don't know how he found it, and he just pushed me inside and onto my bed. Then t-there came t-t-these oth-ther men, and... I d-don't know w-who they were..." The blonde boy couldn't talk any longer, his breath hitched and the only sounds he was able to make were the loud sobs escaping his mouth. Kakashi put a hand on the younger male's back, trying to soothe him. _

"_Keep going" the jounin said, encouraging the blonde with a sad smile. In all honesty he wasn't stupid, he had pretty much understood what was coming, but he couldn't believe it. To be able to comprehend the truth he would have to hear it from the blonde's mouth, however much it would break him. _

"_T-there were three m-more of them, they held me down, t-t-then they..." Naruto's voice broke yet again, a loud sob escaping his throat and tears falling freely from his eyes. "that night they - They took turns r-raping me... and t-they came back. One time Hinata's dad was with them, s-saying I... that I was corrupting her, and there were others too, I don't even know who all of them were..." Naruto couldn't speak any more as he collapsed into his sensei's open arms. _

_The two men sat like that for a long time - Kakashi held the boy close for hours, neither of the two saying anything – they had nothing to say. The older male was furious with the whoever had done this to his precious kitsune, and he made a silent promise that he'd kill them – or at least beat them all till bloody bones was all that was left – when they got back. He was even more furious with himself, though, for not having noticed. How could he not have seen, how come no one had seen what had been going on? The jounin came to the conclusion that nobody had really cared enough to find out – except for Iruka, but Naruto would probably hide something like this from him at all costs, he'd never trouble anyone, especially not Iruka, with something as bad as this. Naruto had said he loved him. Not directly to him, not even when he was awake, but still, the boy he had loved for so long had said he felt the same. Silent tears fell from Hatake's eyes, and soon the two were sleeping, holding each other in a warm embrace. _

The memory of that last, fateful mission of theirs was still clear in the silver haired male's mind – it didn't matter that six months had passed since that horrible day; it had now say how all of those who had hurt his koi had gotten their punishment. All of it didn't matter because his lover would never return, and the scars on his soul would continue to hurt more and more with every day that Naruto wasn't by his side.

Dripping wet from the rain, his head hanging low and his body slumped together in a defeated manor the jounin sank down in front of the grey, cold stone that was the only memory of his blonde lover. As he sat there, in deafening silence, quiet tears fell fro his eyes, running down his cheeks – he no longer wore his mask, he saw no need to hide his face anymore. Now that Naruto was gone he didn't really care for what people thought of him, the only thing he could feel was the grief that was threatening to envelop him completely - they were invisible, though, as they merged with rain and quietly fell to the ground, shattering into thousands of smaller particles as the impact hit – shattering like Kakashi's reality had _that_ night.

"_Naruto... I-I need to talk to you for a moment" Naruto nodded, then rose to his feet, leaving his kunai on the ground by the fireplace – he'd been sharpening his weapons and preparing for their final showdown with Itachi before Kakashi asked for him, the time was close now. In three days they were to meet the Uchiha in a small town approximately three hours away from where they were currently residing, preparation was crucial for their mission to succeed. _

"_Sure, 'Kashi," Kakashi smiled at the blonde, who had now walked over to sit next to him on the ground. He was nervous, very much so. He'd though what he was about to do through at least a million times in the past days, finally deciding that he was, for once, going to follow his heart and not his brain. He'd let emotions take control this time, he didn't give a fuck if it was wrong or not according to code. He couldn't care less if people judged him for how he felt; the only thing he was scared of now was the blonde's answer._

"_You know when you had that nightmare four days ago?" Naruto nodded, encouraging the jounin to go on. "Well, right before you woke up, you... You said something. I need to know if it's true" The younger of the two looked puzzled, quite much so, too. "You said that you... Love me." Kakashi sat still, the man who couldn't even bother to be the least bit afraid when in combat with the strongest of enemies was terrified – scared out of his mind – that the young boy would dismiss it, saying it was nothing, because the jounin had realized that Naruto's answer would almost certainly what either kept him grounded or sent him into a dark downwards spiral. "Do you?"_

"_You heard that, huh? Well... Uhm.. Where do I start?" Naruto turned to look into his sensei's visible eye, blue orbs searching the answer for something they didn't even know the question to. "I hoped I'd never have to say this, you-you'll think I'm the sickest person in the wo-" Kakashi stopped the boy, putting a finger to his lips. _

"_I won't think any less of you, whatever you choose to say I don't care, but I need to know" The jounin smiled a strange smile at the boy before him, that was the hardest lie he'd ever told. The first part had been true, no matter what Naruto said it wouldn't make Kakashi think any less of him, but if it hadn't been for real, he thought, his mind would shatter. Naruto was the only constant in the jounin's life - as he had been for so long - which Kakashi had just come to realize. At Kakashi's words Naruto smiled. A bright and beautiful smile that would rival the sun and make any other smile in the world seem worthless. It was such a smile that one would do anything so that it would never fade. _

"_Well then, here's truth for you, Kakashi" Naruto hesitated, his sensei understood why. Once your feelings are out in the open there was no turning back, some things people just can't forget. Kakashi put one hand on Naruto's shoulder to encourage the boy, hoping his intentions got through.  
"Kakashi, I love you, and I have for a long time too" The boy's voice faltered a bit as if he was unsure of what to say, then he continued. "You know that very first day, when our genin teams were assigned and we met up to talk about ourselves, already then I felt __**something**__, it wasn't really love, but... I just had this feeling that I wanted your attention – which I knew I'd never get, you know, Sasuke being in the group and all – but I also wanted to just be with you and talk to you. You seemed so – I don't know... It just felt right..." Kakashi was stunned and utterly speechless – how could he not have noticed? How could he have been so blind, and why the fuck had he had to pay so much attention to__** Sasuke**__? Had he only cared more for Naruto he might have known before. His life and Naruto's could both have been so different – they could both have had __**someone**__. _

"_-Ashi? Are you there? Do you hate me now?" The blonde male looked at Kakashi with fright and concern. The jounin was so glad as he had never been in his life, not even when his own team was alive – the joy he felt now was incomparable to anything he'd ever felt before. Knowing he had to answer the man in front of him, but not able to speak Kakashi lifted his hands to his face and quickly pulled his mask down, then, in a split second, his mouth lashed onto Naruto's, their lips colliding in a strangely wonderful way. _

_The kiss was the best of Kakashi's life, and he'd had so many he didn't even bother to keep count of his lovers any longer. It was special, and the amount of emotions that were put into the kiss from either of the two shinobi were probably enough to destroy the world. The kiss went on, Kakashi's experienced tongue quickly gaining entrance into his blonde love's mouth, exploring every inch of the wonderful, wet cavern, memorizing everything it came over and etching it into the jounin's mind. Naruto, on the other hand, seemed quite inexperienced for his age, he was 19 and yet his kiss seemed so experimental and cautious, but the instincts that steered the boy did have __**some**__ idea of what they were doing. _

_The kiss only ended when the two had to break for air – both panted heavily as their lips parted, faces flushed and a shy smile on Naruto's face. _

"_No, Naruto, I don't hate you. I don't hate you because.... well... I feel the same way." Now it was Naruto's turn to be shocked, his eyes wide open and his mouth open in a gape. "It's true, and now close that mouth or I won't be responsible for what I do to it..." _

That night... Just thinking back to it brought tears to Kakashi's eyes, tears that he wouldn't let anyone see, but they were still there. Naruto and he had sat up talking the entire night until sunrise, when they had fallen asleep in each other's arms – finally finding peace.

"Damn it, Kakashi, get a grip of yourself..." The jounin was thinking out loud, not intentionally, but it sometimes happened. "Why'd you leave me, you idiot, don't you know that I need you? Why would you do something so stupid?!" This time Kakashi had spoken aloud purposefully, knowing it wouldn't happen, but somehow hoping that his words would reach Naruto, and that the blonde might somehow respond. Nothing.

Suddenly Kakashi pulled his feet to his chest and held them tightly, his back pressed hard against the cold memorial stone. The tears had stopped coming now, probably because he had no more of them left to cry, as he thought back to his days with Naruto again. This time, though, it was happy thoughts.

_Kakashi's tongue was yet again exploring his blonde lover's mouth; __the two men were standing up against a tree, panting heavily, each one's hands roaming across the others body as their tongues battled for dominance even though both knew who'd win__** that**__ battle. They'd been preparing dinner up until half an hour ago, but when Naruto's lips had landed a soft kiss on the jounin's the two had simply been unable to stop. As the kiss ended Naruto pulled back, cupping the older man's face with his hands. _

"_Kakashi...?" The man in question lifted his gaze from the blondes lips so that it met the young mans eyes._

"_Mm, what is it, Naru-chan?" Naruto's face got flushed as his lover said his new pet name, but the name was not the reason for his blushing. No, there was something much more important on the young man's mind._

"_I have a... Uhm, how do I say this... A favour to ask you, 'Kashi" Kakashi's hands encircled the blonde boy's waist as they pulled him closer to the jounin, their bodies __molding__ to one another so perfectly it seemed as if they were two pieces of a puzzle, meant to be together. The gesture made by Kakashi was enough to encourage the blonde to go on; the actions they made towards each other spoke so much louder than any words ever could. _

"_Will you... Will you be my first, Kakashi?" The blonde whispered so low that he barely heard himself, his face turning as red as a strawberry when the man in question locked his eyes on the boy. _

"_Could you repeat that, Naruto, I couldn't hear you" Kakashi smirked. He had heard every word, he just had to hear it again. _

"_Will. You. Be. My. First. Kakashi!" Naruto spoke every word loud and clear this time, making sure he wouldn't have to repeat himself yet again, he'd rather just go and die than have to go through the embarrassment one more time. The jounin's arms tightened around the younger's lithe frame, the red that was creeping up the blonde's cheeks now covering his whole face, his mouth was only an inch away from the boy's ear as he spoke. _

"_Yes, Naruto, I would be happy to."_

_Naruto shuddered as the warm air Kakashi breathed out blew across his cool skin; it was late fall when their mission started, and that fall had now turned to winter. Both knew that Kakashi wouldn't be Naruto's 'first' in the sense of the boy never having been with another before, but he would be the boy's __**real**__ first, the first which the boy chose to be with himself. The temperature was below freezing as Kakashi got up, scooting Naruto into their tent. The Jounin put a couple of logs on the fire, enough to keep it burning for a while, before he, too entered the tent where his lover was waiting for him, they both knew what would happen next. _

'Damn you, Naruto, why'd you do this to me?' Kakashi was all but breaking down, after he returned from that mission, his koi's body clutched in his grasp, his mental state had been quickly deteriorating. 'It won't be long until they come get me and lock me away now, Naruto. Heck, they've tried everything, but I just can't seem to move on. Why is it that you are the only one I can't seem to let go of, Uzumaki?' And it was true, all his comrades, friends and even Tsunade had tried everything to get him away from the dark place he was in, but to no avail, there was nothing they could do to ease the pain he felt. Unless there was someone who could bring Naruto back there was nothing _anybody_ could do.

Kakashi's hands moved from the ground to his hair, pulling at the wet, gray strands that hung in front over his forehead protector and down before his face. His scalp was getting sore from all the times he'd done this, but he just had to do _something_ to ease the pain in his heart, if only just a little.

As the memory of _that_ night continued the jounin's sight blurred with tears and his arms returned to the ground, his whole form crouching together into a ball. One could count the ribs sticking out from the crouched man's back – ever since he'd gone into his depressed state he'd even stopped eating, only taking in what people, mostly Tsunade and Iruka, made him eat.

"_Are you sure you're ready for this, Naruto, that you __**really**__ want to do this?" Blue eyes locked onto mismatched charcoal and red as the boy in question lifted his gaze to meet his lover's. The two shinobi were laying close together, their clothes scattered on the floor of the tent, as Kakashi spoke; his deep voice was much gentler than usual, the blonde shivering as the sound reached his ear. _

"_Mhm, I'm sure, Koi" Naruto smiled a shy smile and Kakashi brushed a hand lightly across boy's cheek making him blush slightly._

"_Naru-chan…" Kakashi put a hand to the blonde's check, holding his face so that he could look into those wonderful blue eyes, then their lips met. The kiss was soft and gentle, yet so passionate that neither had ever felt its like, neither wanting to end it. Their tongues fought for dominance, Naruto's having to submit to the more experienced male's, as their dance went on. Hand's roamed any bit of flesh available to them, caressing that which they met, not ever wanting to forget the feel of it. _

_As minutes passed the two had to break for air, Kakashi holding the younger male close to his chest as they lay there, never wanting to let go of this beautiful body that molded to his so perfectly. _

_Naruto tensed as he felt something probing at his entrance, freezing as he felt it enter him. Noticing the boy's unease Kakashi lifted his chin with his free hands, looking into deep, blue eyes._

"_If you relax it'll be better, I promise I won't hurt you, Naruto." _

"_Mm." Naruto tried to relax, succeeding after a short while, but as another digit entered him he tensed again, concentrating to relax and ignore the feeling of pain that was now starting to surface as the two fingers were scissoring, preparing him. _

_Seeing the boy's discomfort in his face, Kakashi locked his lips onto the blondes as a distraction, tasting the sweet flavor that was only Naruto, sucking gently at the blonde's lower lip for a while before requesting entrance to the boy's mouth, his tongue sliding in as soon as the soft, pink lips parted, caressing Naruto's. When he noticed the boy was adapting to two fingers he added a third, again feeling how the blonde's whole body tensed up at the intrusion, though less this time than the two previous even though the pain was greater. _

_After having let Naruto get used to the feeling of three fingers inside him, Kakashi started moving his digits, smirking as he found the spot which made Naruto moan, the blonde looking like an angel with blonde locks framing his face, droplets of sweat covering his face and the eyelids over half-lidded blue eyes fluttering wildly. He repeated his movements, hitting Naruto's stop again, receiving another moan of pleasure, then again and again, wanting the blonde to feel as good as himself. _

_After a good while he pulled out slowly, Naruto shivering slightly as the intrusion he'd now gotten so used to left, leaving him feeling empty. _

"_Ka… Kashi…" The name came in light pants as the blue eyes locked onto mismatched charcoal and red, something about them and every other part of Naruto was slowly but surely driving the silver haired male insane. _

"_This will hurt, Naruto, just tell me if you need me to stop…" Kakashi placed a gentle kiss on Naruto's lips as he positioned himself, then slowly pushed into the blonde until he was in completely, the blonde panting heavily from pain. _

_After giving the boy some time to adjust, easing the pain with kisses and feather-like touches, Kakashi started pulling out, then pushing back in again, still in slow, careful motions. As Naruto couldn't take the slow motion he pushed bucked his hips towards Kakashi, the man entering him completely yet again. _

"_Kakashi. Please…. Faster…" Coming in between pants and moans Naruto's voice rang clearly in the jounin's ears as he quickened his pace, going faster and__ slamming harder into the blonde. Suddenly a loud moan left pink lips, the blonde screaming out in pleasure as Kakashi hit his prostate, the silver haired male slamming repeatedly into the spot that made his lover moan and scream his name. Feeling himself nearing completion he started fisting Naruto, timing it with his own thrusts, the sensation too much for the teen as he came onto Kakashi's chest, the sounds and screams of pleasure coming form the blonde and the sight he was as he was climaxing brought Kakashi over the top as he thrust a couple of more times, then came into Naruto. As both their orgasms came to an end they collapsed together on the thin mat they were lying on, Kakashi pulling out of Naruto just before the boy fell asleep in his embrace, the jounin himself soon enough following the teen to slumber land._

Kakashi was still crouched together on the ground, now a fist of hair lay on the ground and his scalp was bleeding lightly, the blood running down his face, mixing with water. Death, he though, even death would be better than the hell he had been living ever since that fateful day that Naruto died. Had he only realized before that he loved the boy things might have been different. Had he not let himself fall for Naruto things would have been different. Had he seen through that damn illusion to notice the attack coming his way things would _surely_ be different. Had he seen through it all his Naruto would still be alive.

_The day was come when __they were to find Itachi, the two Shinobi standing silently on a small bridge, waiting as they had for hours, in disguise but ready to leap into action at any time. _

_As morning slowly turned to midday, the sun shining down on their back albeit not warming them considering the time of year, the two males could see a shadow coming closer, arriving from the east just as they expected Itachi too, though they could not see the figure close enough to know if it was their target. As the person slowly came closer they could make out that it was wearing a cloak, a black cloak embroidered with red clouds, this was him. _

"_Remember the plan?" Naruto nodded, they'd gone over their plan a million times yesterday, or, well, they'd only reached to do it about four times before the lust that was heavy in the air got the upper hand of them both, tur__ning the night into another night of loving and kisses._

"_Yeah, we watch him, then when we get a good chance, not somewhere that people can get hurt, we go for it." Naruto smiled confidently at his lover, his blue eyes seemed so sure that they would make it, that they would win. _

'If you only knew how wrong you were, Naruto, if you only knew.' Again Kakashi's right hand found its way to his hair, his left was clawing its way over his cheek and down his neck time and time again, eventually breaking his skin, blood running down the left side of his face.

'You were so sure we'd win, and I suppose you're right, we did. You beat him, Naruto, but at what cost, huh? You gave your life for a village that hated you and a world that didn't care. They never knew what a good person you were Naruto, and now they never will, but I do, and I miss you, my koichii. He died, but you had to pay with your life. You died too, and you left me behind. You saved my life and took his in one split second, leaving me broken and empty.'

Now, as if the imaginary gates that had previously blocked his tears from falling opened, the salty liquid ran like rivers down his cheeks, falling to the ground when they met at his chin. To the ground or on him, whichever was closer. He didn't care anymore – he didn't care if anyone saw him, didn't care what happened to him, he had lost his will to live. Lately, whenever he would go on a mission he'd chose the highest ranked and hardest ones. Always going head on into combat and always returning bruised and beaten to the brink of death, and he did it all in the hopes that soon someone would kill him, soon he would die so he could be with his love, with the one who held his heart.

_The two males were waiting in the outskirts of the small town they'd been camping outside, in a clearing in the forest which they knew Itachi would pass, waiting for the traitor Uchiha to arrive. _

_As hours passed with no sign the two were getting highly impatient, restlessly walking around the small clearing until Kakashi picked up on a faint chakra trail._

"_He's here," Kakashi said, "about a mile away or so."_

"_Then let's greet him." Naruto grinned, so sure of their victory."He'll surely enjoy some company, don't you think?"_

"_Let's be done with this quickly," The jounin placed a soft kiss on his lovers lips, their eyes meeting for just a little longer than normal. "I love you."_

"_I love you too."  
Then they ran, making their way towards where they would find Itachi. _

'I miss you so much, Naruto. So fucking much. Not a second goes by that you're not on my mind.'

The jounin gave up all attempts at numbing the pain. He stopped moving and simply sat with his back to the memorial stone, tears and rain mixed running down his scarred face. Earlier he would have bit his lip to stop the scream he felt coming, but instead he let it tear from his lounges and past his lips, absorbed into the heavy rainfall. He screamed again and again until he couldn't any more, his voice all but gone.

_Things were going well. Very, very well.  
They'd caught up with Itachi, and to their luck there was alone. The fight had commenced almost immediately, and by now they seemed leagues ahead, only waiting for the male to tire our or a chance to deal the final blow. _

_All of a sudden Naruto's eyes widened as he noticed the mistake they'd made.  
"Kakashi!" He called out desperate for the man to hear him, but as what Naruto had discovered to be only Itachi's clone attacked the jounin head on he didn't heart the boy's call. "Kakashi, look behind you, damn it!" He called out again._

_Kakashi noticed Nauruto calling him, diverting a slight of his attention in the boy's direction without a word. Itachi was so close now, and this was his chance to kill him, so why did something feel wrong? Why did the boy sound so terrified. _

"_It's a clone!" the words reached Kakashi's ears the second his katana pierced the man's chest, and when the Itachi impaled on the weapon suddenly disappeared into thin air he realized what the boy had been trying to tell him.  
"He's behind you, 'Kashi," The blonde looked as if he feared for his own life, but that wasn't quite the case, he feared for the love of his life. _

_Seeing that Kakshi didn't quite catch his words he tried to signal to him what it was, but when Kakashi finally realized what he was being told it was too late. He'd turned around to face the danger Naruto had tried to warn him off just in time to see his face at a distanced he guessed to be less than a second away, and he knew that there wouldn't be time for a counter, much less an attack. He was good as gone. _

_He attempted an evasive move, but just as he expect the blow to hit him somewhere on the right side of his body there was nothing. He looked up to where he'd seen Itachi last and was met by the most horrifying sight he'd ever seen. _

"_Naruto…" He whispered. The boy was clinging to Itachi, his arms clinging around the much larger man's neck. He was clinging to Itachi, locked to him by the fact that they were too close together for Itachi to be able to pull his weapon out of the blonde._

"…_Now." Naruto finally managed to get out, blood spatter following the words out of his mouth. _

_Kakashi looked at him, and for the first time in his life he felt completely helpless. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew that it would kill the boy either way he did it, he was too wounded from Itachis katana through his chest to be able to take another hit. That, and when the man he clung to fell and tore his weapon from his chest, the boy was sure to die. He could tell that Naruto knew what was coming, too. _

_Moving quickly, Kakashi pulled out his katana yet again and quick as lightning appeared behind Itachi, thrusting the blade through his heart. Through his heart and straight into Naruto's._

_He watched Naruto's face churn in pain and all he could do was smile at the boy, a friendly face. He lay the two bodies carefully down before he managed to maneuver Naruto free of the two sharp blades embedded in him, lifting his dying lover away from the mass to the shade of a tree before he sat down, cradling the blondes head on his lap. _

_Hadn't it been for the fact that the boy had the Kyuubi no Kitsune in him, Kakashi knew, he would already be dead, but the fox demon would at least do something good for someone. It would give them time. Not much, but enough for a farewell, if nothing more. _

"Why?" Kakashi whispered into the cold, wet air. "Why did you take him away from me?"

Somehow he managed to pull himself to his feet, turning to face the stone and his lover's name on it. He'd read the name a million times, and he would do it a million times over or till the day that he died, whichever came sooner. He let his finger trace the small letters, closing his eyes to envision Naruto's beautiful face.

"_I love you," Kakashi whispered to the dying boy on his lap whose blue eyes were wide open, staring at him. "I love you, Naruto."_

_The boy's gaze lingered on his face before the blue mirrors fell shut again, a smile defying the pain he was in gracing his lips.  
"I love… you too, 'Kashi…" His breaths were raspy and shallow, a__nd it was obvious it took a lot of effort for him even just to say those few words. _

"_Shh, love." Kakashi smiled at him. "It's ok, I'm here." The blonde looked up at him with the saddest eyes the man had ever seen, his lips parting to speak again._

"_I'll miss you… so much." He said, then burst into a fit of coughing. _

_Kakashi held him just a little closer till the coughing stopped, then looked into his eyes.  
"I'll miss you too, love, but I'll see you soon. Thank you." That's when the boy's eyes had closed for the last time, after one last shared look with his lover._

"_I miss you already."_

'I really do miss you. I miss you so very much.' He looked at the boy in his mind, who simply smiled back.  
"Won't you tell me what to do?" his voice echoed through the cold air as he called out. "Why can't you just tell me what to do to stop this? I can't take it anymore, everything just hurts so much. I can't go on living without you, Naruto… You might have saved my life back then, but what's left of me is nothing."

He had one hand on each side of the stone, holding on so hard his knuckles were turning white as he whispered one last sentence.  
"I'm nothing without you," he said, then turned his back to the stone and walked away with icy determination being the only thing to keep him on his legs.

He would return tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that and every single day until the day that he didn't wake up to do the same, because sorrow was the only thing he ever felt – and he needed to feel to stay human. To stay sane enough not to take his own life and end up in hell whilst the one that he loved lived forever in heaven.

* * *


End file.
